thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
