Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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