Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
