Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
