I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
