i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
