i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
