I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
