Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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