got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
True strength comes from lack of pants
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
