I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
