before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think your dad took our porno
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
