That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
