Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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