I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
