it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
