yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
