id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize