GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
