Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
