I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
