Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
