My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Success! We fucked roommates!
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