for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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