Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
