I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
