I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
