Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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