the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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