I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
