Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
