Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
