I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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