All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
