Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
