I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
