every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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