who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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