Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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