How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
