Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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