I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
