I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
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