You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
