And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
