you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize