things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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