Will you blow on my dice?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize