I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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