Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I love having hate sex.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize