And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
