First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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