all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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