Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
