you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
