How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
