Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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