she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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