Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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